Just thinking.... I don't want u guys to be all sad reading this story... It's 4am and I'm up writing smh... But Anyhoe thanks to the three people reading this story u guys are amaze balls I don't blame u guys if u don't like it.. It is kinda sad... But yeah once I start things I have to finish them...
The sun peeped through the curtains in nickis room. She could feel the rays of the sun gently kiss her face as the sun peaked higher in the sky. A smile spread across her face opening her eyes laying in the arms of Safaree she felt safe. A sense of comfort and love. She listened to the birds sing a song she had never heard before a song of hope.
Nicki removed safarees arms from around her waist and got out of bed. She could smell whatever Amy had cooking in the kitchen but went to do her morning deeds. After finishing up in the bathroom nicki tossed on her robe and headed for her study. On the way to it she passed the kitchen screaming good morning to Amy.
"Ok emails what we got?" Nicki said placing her glasses on her face looking at her laptop.
"Onika is that how u greet your mother this morning?"
"Mommy? When did you get here!"
"Safaree didn't tell you I was going to fly in first thing in the morning?"
"No."
"Oh well here I am!"
"I'm happy!"
"That I can see."
"Mmhmm." Nicki said looking back at her laptop.
"What's that?"
"Hmm what's what ma?" Nicki said turning her attention away fron the laptop once more.
"What are you reading."
"Oh some things from work looks like ill be going in today."
"But onika do u think..."
"Ma don't start I was told to b optimistic about things I am... And everyone that lives in this house likes me this way so this way ill stay."
"But that has nothing to do with work."
"It has everything to do with work. I was working before so ima work now."
"We'll just take it easy baby."
"I am you see I do nothing around the house all I have is work and to baby faree all day."
"Ha ha I guess onika. Well what time are you off?"
"If I get there in an hour or so ill be home at five."
"Oh ok well have a nice day baby." Carol said watching her daughter flee the room to get dressed for work.
Nicki walked in the room Safaree just waking up.
"Well good morning."
"Good morning baby."
"Where are up you going?"
"To shower then get ready for work."
"Wait work?"
"Yeah things are crazy Alex and Lauren need me."
"Your patients?"
"Yes Safaree."
"Why can't they talk to anyone else at the office."
"Because they only want to talk to me safaree that's why. Go down stairs and say hi to your twin and eat breakfast."
"Your moms here?"
"Yes thanks for not telling me she was coming."
"Oh sorry by the time I came from my office checking the books you was knocked out."
"I was sleepy."
"And I didn't want to wake you." He said moving hair out of her face and softly placing kisses on her lips.
"K gotta go shower."
"K." He said following her in the bathroom using the bathroom washing his hands brushing his teeth and leaving for the kitchen.
...
"Morning Safaree."
"Morning ma did you cook this?"
"No Amy did."
"Oh where is she?"
"She took roman to the vet."
"Oh it is time for his shots."
"He hasn't gotten them?"
"He got some of them just not all of them."
"Oh ok."
Silence fell over the room as Safaree ate his breakfast reading the morning paper and mama Maraj read her Oprah magazine.
"Ewwwl why is it so dead in here?"
"You look nice."
"Thanks Safaree where is my baby I haven't heard his chain all day."
"Who ro?"
"Yes."
"Vet."
"Oh that was today wasn't it."
"Yes."
"Oh ok then I guess Ill see all of you when I'm home."
"Ok."
"Call if something goes wrong."
"K I will."
"No onika I mean it."
"I said I will Safaree now please stop ill be fine." She said as she paused in the door way holding the side of the wall. And grabbing a hold of her belly with the other hand.
"Wait what was that?"
"What was what Safaree."
"That what u just did."
"Nothing the baby moved weird." She said lying.
"Nicki if anything goes wrong call I mean any pain anything."
"I heard you."
"Mmmhmmm sure and ill call Monica to be sure of it."
"Yeah yeah yeah!" She said giving him a quick kiss on the forehead. Headed for the door.
" what was that all about?"
"I don't know mama and its weird."
"Ill say."
"U think that was something more?"
"Yeah but she won't learn."
"Your right let me call Monica."
"K son." Carol said leaving the kitchen to her room.
"Hey Monica."
"Hey Safaree what's up."
"Nicki is coming in can you keep an eye on her if she says anything about pain or looks weird please call me."
"Ok."
"If she asks if I called say no u haven't heard from me and to the opposite for what she tells u to do."
"Haha ok is it something I should know?"
"She's not well shouldn't be in work but if it keeps her mind off of what's going on I wanna let her do it."
"Ok."
"Thank you."
"No problem."
......
Safaree walked out of the room in his suit and tie with his brief case and headed for the stairs.
"Mom I'm gone."
"Ok son see you later."
"Are u going to be ok here alone?"
"Yeah I should be fine I'm not thirteen."
"Ok well see you later if u need anything."
"Ill call."
"Ok and when roman comes back from the vet he may act funny that dog is more like a person."
"Ok I'm sure we will get along just fine."
"Feel free to put him in the basement if he's being bad."
"Ok. Anything else?"
"Nope have a great day."
"Thanks Safaree you too son."
"Ill try my best."
....
"Morning Monica."
"Morning nika."
"How are you." Nicki said checking her mail.
"I'm good and what about you baby that baby looks well on its way."
"She is she will be here next week."
"Wait next week that's only 36 weeks."
"37 but yeah next week Friday."
"Why so early?"
"We will talk later. My door is closed is Alex in there?"
"She sure is in bad shape too."
"What's going on?"
"It happened again."
"What?"
"The dream of him coming back three times this week."
"I have my work cut out for me today huh?"
"Yup."
"Well let's get to it!"
"K boss."
Nicki walked into her office turning the knob to the door. Alex sat on the couch with her thumb in her mouth curled into a ball.
"Omg nika!"
"Alex hi baby."
"I'm sorry were you sick you've been gone for a long time."
"A little set back but what's going on with the dreams baby."
"Well I just see him coming back for me."
"Why have you seen him heard about him?"
"My mom says he has a few months left I don't get how they can let a man go that took advantage of a five year old I don't get it."
"So you think he's going to come back for you?"
"Yes I'm scared."
"But why you and your mom left with out telling anyone where you went but your grandmother?"
"That's the thing in my dream he kills her. But she tells him thinking he will spare her life."
"She tells him what?" Nicki said writing on her note pad.
"Where we live."
"Ok then what happens?"
"He comes for me!"
"And does what baby?"
"Rapes me again."
"That's all?"
"That's enough!"
"Enough to what?"
"Enough to drive me fucking crazy!"
"Watch your mouth."
"I'm sorry nika."
"Your ok just don't let it happen again."
"Yes ma'am." Alex said sitting back down on the couch.
"Nika?"
"Yes Alex."
"When I tell u things what do u write on the paper?"
"I write my notes."
"On and y do u ask me so many questions?"
"On what your telling me and I ask u questions one to get you to keep talking and two so I can figure out how to help you baby."
"So you can help with the dreams?"
"Yes but I need you to help me understand the dreams first."
"How when I don't understand them?"
"Are they always the same?"
" sometimes."
"And others?"
"Sometimes he comes to look for me but I'm not where he thought I was."
"And then what happens?"
"I don't know he never stops searching I don't finish the dream to know what happens next."
"Ok Alex how many times do u have the dreams?"
"Almost every time I go to sleep haven't been sleeping much."
"I'm going to give u something to help u with that."
"Noooooo but if I go to sleep ill have to finish the dream."
"Who says you will have the dream?"
"Are u listening to me?"
"Yes."
" you can't be because I just told you.."
"I know what you told me Alex." Nicki said looking up from her notes at Alex.
"This is crazy."
" what's crazy?"
"This."
"Most time after you talk about a dream it dose not come back."
"Most times."
"Yes."
"But what if.."
"It comes back?"
" yeah."
"Finish it."
"What are you crazy!"
"No finish the dream."
"What will that accomplish other than making me piss my self I'm my sleep."
"They can't be that bad."
" have you ever been raped?"
"Actually I have."
"Wait what? You but you look fine not a nut case like me."
"Right and you wanna know how I got there?"
"Yes."
"Finish the dream."
"That does not make sense!"
"Who's the doctor?"
" you but."
"But nothing."
"What happened in your dream?" Alex said looking down at her shoes playing with her nails.
"What does my.." Nicki stopped looking up at Alex face. She could feel her pain. She understood her fears.
"I was 13 my mom was gone a lot my dad had drug problems. We always had random people in and out the house cuz of my dad. One night I was sleep and my room door creeped open this guy no bigger than my dad came in he put his hand over my mouth and pulled my comforter off my bed. I screamed but no one could hear me."
Nickis eyes began to water she removed her glasses and her belly tightened. She rubbed at her baby bump in circles trying to calm her self. If it ment she had to share her story with this child to help her that's what she would do but she knew she had to calm her self before she continued with the story.
" I kicked I screamed until my face burned and my face was beat read. He was stronger than I thought..."
"Wow. I'm sorry you can stop."
"You sure it's ok I don't mind sharing."
"I'm sure but are you ok?"
"Yes y you ask that?"
"You look pale your face looks flushed and you keep rubbing your belly like your in pain."
"Ill be fine baby."
"You sure I think..."
"I'm fine."
"Ok."Alex said tossing up her hands.
"So I want you to finish both dreams."
"Ok. Then what."
"Then we will take it from there I'm going to give you something to help u sleep take one pill around 8pm no sooner."
"Ok."Alex said taking the prescription from nicki walking towards the door.
Nicki got up to walk her out and a pain shot up her back to her stomach. She bent over holding the wall with one hand and adding pressure to the cramp on her belly she could feel the baby move a little and a tear fell from her face.
"Onika!"
"I'm fine Monica."
"Your not what's going on."
"Just a pain from my back."
"Your not grabbing your back your grabbing your tummy I should call Safaree."
"No! I'm ok!"
"But."
"I Said I was fine call him and u lose your job."
" but."
"Try me!" Nicki said rolling her eyes going back into her office.
Monica set at her desk looking into nickis office watching her sit behind her desk rubbing the cramp out her tummy. She watched her closely not noticing her next appointment had just arrived.
"Umm hello?"
"Oh I'm sorry have a seat she will be right with you sweetheart."
....
"Mr samules?"
"Yes Steven?"
" a Monica is on line one and the James account is outside."
"Ok thank you."
"Monica is everything ok."
"No she told me if I call you ill lose my job but her health is more important."
"What's wrong?"
"She said she had a pain in her back but she was rubbing her belly."
"Yeah she gets those. It goes up her back and it makes her tummy tight."
"So that's normal."
"It's not suppose to happen but yes it's normal."
"Ok if anything else happens ill let you know. Does she usually cry."
"No."
"She did this time."
"Ok let me help this client tell her I called and said I want to take her to lunch ok."
"Ok."
"Thank you Monica.
"Mmmhmmm."
"Lauren?" Nicki said taking the tissue fixing her make up.
"Yes."
"Come on sweetie how are you?"
"I'm good go ahead and have a seat."
"Monica who was that?"
"Safaree."
"U called him?"
"No he wants to meet u for lunch."
"Oh ok what time?"
"He said for u to call him when your done."
"Ok."
Nicki walked into her office and shut the door she took her seat grabbing her notepad and pen.
"So what's going on baby girl talk to me."
"Ok well you know how I told you about my mom?"
"Yeah I remember."
"Well I swear things get worse every day."
"I mean what's going on."
"The other day she told me well if you hate life so much kill your self."
"Why would she say something like that to you?"
"I don't know."
"What did you do?"
"At that point I felt I had no reason to live. No dad to care for me no mom sisters and brothers hate me to no friends so I tried to do it."
"Wait u tried to kill your self?"
"Yeah no point in living when you have nothing to live for I'm 21 no friends mom hates me dad knows of me but couldn't give a flying fuck weather I killed over or not what's the point."
"To live and be you baby."
"Easy for you to say."
"And why do you think that."
"I mean look at you. Your beautiful I bet you could have any man in the world. Your what 28 married for two years big rock on your finger so you can tell he loves you a lot and to be able to afford a ring like that he well off. Judging by the family pic on your desk that's your mom dad and your two brothers. But I bet your family situation is wayyy better than mine if not perfect doc."
"But that's my family though everyone's life can't be the same. Your 21 I didn't have all of this at 21 I was lost just like you trying to find my way baby. Yeah it's hard sometimes but you have to stick it out you have to fight for the things you want in life."
"But I'm alone and I feel like ill be that way for the rest of my life."
"You won't."
"How do you know."
"I just do your and amazing person. You just need someone who will point you in the right direction."
"Yeah well I don't have one of those people."
....
Safaree sat in the waiting room in nickis office he was still working sitting in the chair. He undid his tie and took off his jacket.
"Hey Safaree."
"What's up Monica."
"What's wrong with nicki."
"Umm."
"Is it bad?"
"Well yes and no."
"Why is that the answer."
"Because we won't know u til after her sergury."
"Oh ok. When is that?"
"Friday."
"But I thought she told me the baby comes Friday."
"Yeah."
"But why."
"She has cancer."
"Nika? Nooooo."
"Yeah but shhh."
"That's why your so worried she shouldn't be here."
"Yeah she shouldn't but it keeps her mind off it so what can you do."
"Now I understand."
The door to nickis office popped open and Monica came out to the front desk to place another appointment.
"Safaree I thought u said for me to call u when I'm done."
"Yeah well I finished at the office early."
"Woah" nicki said grabbing a hold to the office desk to catch her balance.
"Nicki!" Safaree said running to her side.
"Im ok I'm ok."
"No your not your breathing can you breathe baby your face is turning blue."
"I'm ok."
"Nicki now is not the fucking time for you to be lying to me what just happened."
"I couldn't breathe I got light headed and grabbed a hold to the desk."
"Monica call 911 please."
"No Safaree I'm fine."
"NICKI STOP! THIS IS NOT JUST ABOUT YOU! There is a baby in there and if you aren't getting the proper air neither is she!"
"Safaree my breathing is stable I'm good let me go."
Safaree let go of her and stood off to the side.
"Are we leaving?"
"No."
"I thought."
"Your going to sit and when the ems get here your going to get in the back of it."
"Safaree."
"I don't want to hear it onika."
"Uggggggggggggh!"
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Being Optimistic
Hey u guyyyyssss lol my god baby screams that all the time sorry bro.. Anyways I hope u guys like this story this is my baby lol. But any hoe when I get to the parts with pics u guys are going to love love love this story.. Please be sure to comment be honest nothing wil hurt my feelings.. I love your comments and happy reading...
"Mrs Samuels because we need to start your treatment soon we need the baby out as soon as possible. Seeing as though your now 36weeks and the baby is fully developed healthy so we may induce your labour soon."
"So right after u induce me I go under treatment?"
"Yes ma'am which means no Brest feeding."
"Wait I can't Brest feed my baby."
"No the treatments prevent you from doing that."
"But the treatments will save her life right?"
"We hope so mr samules."
"Wait you hope so?"
"Yes mrs samules we can't guarantee that this method will work but for most patients it does."
" do you think this treatment is what's best for my situation?"
"Yes ma'am I do I've seen it work for many people in your situation."
"So it's worked before?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Ok." Nicki simply said placing her hands in her lap taking a deep breath.
"Baby you ok?"
"Yeah I'm fine."
"So what day do we have to be back here?"
"Next week Friday."
"Ok. But I have a week?"
"Yes."
"And if this does not work how long will I have?"
" if it doesn't work u will have up to a year sweetheart."
"A YEAR!! A FUCKING YEAR !"
"Nicki calm down."
"You want me to calm down but I have an expiration date on my life?"
" that's if it doesn't work nicki."
"How long will we know if it worked?"
"Well we can go about this one of two ways since you have lung cancer and its a small node on your lung we can go in and remove it after you have the baby."
"Meaning segury?"
"Yes it's the quickest way to remove the problem and prevent it from spreading to your entire lung."
"Ok so the other method?"
"The other method is chemotherapy."
"Which is why I won't be able to Brest feed?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Well what do you thing Safaree."
"I think you should go wi the first one I mean its more effective."
"I think so to."
"Ok so you guys want the segury?"
"Yes please."
Safaree grabbed a hold to nickis shaking and and placed it between his. He rubbed until she began to calm down placing a dot kiss on the back of her hand. Nicki grabbed her purse and stood from her chair she walked towards the door opening it headed for the car Safaree following suit.
"You ok?" He said getting into the car slamming the door.
"No."
"You wanna talk about it?"
"No. Just drive."
"When are you going to tell mom?"
"I'm not."
"Nicki."
"You are."
"What? She should hear it from you baby."
"Safaree how do u start a conversation like that with your mother? Hi mom weathers nice I have to have the baby next week and after that they cut me open and remove cancer from my lung. But don't worry if that doesn't work I have a year left to spend with my family."
"Oh. Well since u put it that way."
"But that's the thing I didn't put it that way the doctors did."
"Nicki."
"Safaree please I don't want to have this conversation with anyone at the moment you want everyone close to us to know so bad handle it."
"Ok."
A cold silence grew over the car for the last fifteen minutes of their ride home. Safaree pulled into the drive way. He opened his car door stepping out to open nickis when he was met by roman and Amy.
" sup Amy! Down ro man ya paws muddy."
"Sorry Safaree he likes puddles but I'm going to take him to the back and get him all washed."
"Amy it's cold out wash him in the basement."
"Oh ill be fine mr. Samules it's just a breeze."
"But I won't just use the tub in the basement."
"Ok dinner is made."
"Ok thanks."
"Your welcome. Hi mrs samules how's everything."
Nicki just gave her a cold stare and made her way in the house.
"Ok."
"Don't take it personal Amy she got bad news today."
"Not about the baby right."she said grabbing a hold to her chest trying to keep her balance as roman tried to go after nicki but was yanked back by the leash.
"No the baby will be here early actually but the baby is healthy we may need more of your help around the house though so I'm going to raise your pay and we will talk about it later."
"Ok mr samules but you sure nika will be ok?"
"Yes.." He said mumbling I hope shortly after.
Safaree made his way into the condo putting his keys on the key rack by the front door. He took his shoes off on the carpet off to the side and made his way into the kitchen. He was hoping to see nicki eating her dinner but no one was in the kitchen and he could see her curry chicken still wrapped on the counter. He took the wrapping off her plate and placed it in the microwave for a few minutes. He reached in the fridge and grabbed her a water and an apple juice. Shortly after the timer on the microwave went off. He placed everything on a tray making his way up the stairs. He could see that the door was closed so he sat the tray on the table at the end of the hall. The door was locked so he went back down the stairs to get his keys. Once back to the door he opened it leaving the keys swinging from the door.
" nicki sit up."
"I don't want that Safaree."
"My baby does though sit yo ass up onika I'm not playing with you."
Nicki pouted and sat up.
"I don't want apple juice I want orange juice." She said handing him the apple juice back.
"Ok anything else?"
"No."
"Ill have Amy bring the orange juice back up and nicki say sorry."
"What?"
"Just do it."
"Ughhhhh ok."
....
"Well ma I think I should call nickis mother now."
"Ok baby tell onika I'm praying for her and that baby and that things will be ok just give it to god and let him do the rest."
"Ok ma I will."
"Ok baby ill be in town next week Monday."
"Ok ill have Amy come get you from the air port if I'm still at work when you land."
"Ok love you baby."
"Love you too ma."
Safaree waited until his line was clear and searched for carols number he waited a while as he searched for the words.
"Fuck how do I tell her this shit." He said speaking to him self.
"Tell who what?" Amy said freeing a now clean roman from her grasp.
"Carol. And I have to tell her something important about nicki."
"Ok you scaring me now what am I not apart of the family now."
"No Amy I just don't know how to explain this to anyone."
"How about I be your test dummy?"
"Ok umm. Well the baby will be here next week because nicki has to go into treatment."
"Treatment why?" Amy said taking a seat next to Safaree on the couch.
"Because she has lung cancer."
"Lung cancer!"
"Shhh."
"Oh sorry but where did this come from?"
"The doctors said its normal for people to find out things when they are pregnant it flares them up."
"Ok so what treatment will she start after the baby is here?"
"First they will try and remove the node as they called it through surgery."
"Ok but when?"
"Friday after the baby is born."
"And if this doesn't work?"
"Chemotherapy."
"So this I why you need me here huh?"
" yes but my mother may be here and nickis too after I grow the balls to call and tell her."
"Ok what ever you guys need. You know nika is like a sister to me."
"Speaking of her she wants orange juice can u take it to her please?"
"Shure can."
"If she locked the door my keys are on the table in the hall."
"Ok."
"Thank you Amy."
"Your welcome Safaree." She said turning to walk away. " oh and Safaree it's no easy way to tell a mother her baby has lung cancer. But the more u put it off the worse the reaction."
"Thanks."
"No problem."
Safaree pressed the call button on his phone. The more the phone rang the more his heart raced.
"Hello? Hello? Safaree?"
"I'm sorry hi mama."
"Hi baby what's going on."
"I have to talk to you about something."
"Ok let me finish with CIA and you have my undivided attention."
"Ok go ahead."
"CIA finish that home work was the dishes and go to bed right now!" He could hear her scream in the background
"Ok baby let me get situated in this bed."
"Good she's sitting."
"What was that?"
"Nothing I was talking to Amy."
"Oh that chile still works for you guys?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Ok what's this news you have to tell me."
"Don't panic ok."
"Ok Safaree."
"We'll a few days ago we found out nicki had lung cancer."
"Lung cancer! Is she going to be ok."
"They don't know so the baby will be here next Friday so that they can start her treatments."
"Treatments this sounds serious."
"It is and nicki needs all the support she can get."
"So ill fly out first thing."
"You don't have to do that."
"Yes I do Safaree my baby needs me."
"But.."
"No buts first thing in the morning."
"Ok."
"So how's she doing with this news."
"She's down mad at the world."
"Sounds like onika."
"Yeah."
"How are you doing with this news."
"I guess you can say I'm handling it."
"And what's that suppose to mean?"
"I mean mama what type of man would I be if I broke down. It's not me having to go through this its her."
"That's where your wrong baby. In sickness and in health you said that didn't you.?"
"Yes but."
"No buts your going through this together you under stand me? She may need you more than she ever will in her life right now."
"Yes ma'am."
"So you be strong but in order for you to be strong you need someone to be strong for you too. do you hear me baby?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Now when does all of this happen?"
"Friday."
"Ok ill be out that way tomorrow son so see you then."
"Ok."
And with that the call ended. Safaree made his way to his study checking his books as he always did before he went to bed.
.........
Nickis room
Amy knocked on the door slowly turning the knob with nickis orange juice tucked under her arm.
"Come on Amy."
"You knew I was coming?"
"Yeah plus your the only one who knocks around here."
"Oh."
"Hey I'm sorry about.."
"No need if I was in your position I'd be mad at the world too."
"Aww but I.."
"Shhh."
"Here."
"Oh that thanks even though I don't want it."
"But Safaree said.... Never mind." She said setting the orange juice on the night stand.
Nicki motioned for her to take a seat on the bed.
"Wanna talk about it?"
"I guess not really much to say. But can I ask a quick favor of you?"
"Sure anything."
"Please take care of her." Nicki said rubbing her belly.
"Her?"
"Oh that's right it is your first time being back its a girl."
"Aww she's going to be beautiful."
"Thanks but please." Nicki said with pleading eyes tears rolling down her face.
"You look at me." Amy said lifting nickis head up with her index finger."nika your going to be ok baby."
"But what if I'm not?"
"What if the sky isn't blue tomorrow?"
"No Amy I'm serious." Nicki said through laughs.
"So am I you have to be optimistic with things like this nicki. Claim that in gods name you will get better if not for you for the sake of that baby."
"But they said.."
"But who are they nika? Some guy who studied about the human body in school. Gods power is greater than any man and that's what you have to believe baby."
"Listen to you who would have thought you call me the big sister."
"Well someone has to look at this thing in another form."
"I'm glad it's you."
"I'm here if you need me you know that right?"
"Yes and thank you." She said pulling her in for a hug.
"Mrs Samuels because we need to start your treatment soon we need the baby out as soon as possible. Seeing as though your now 36weeks and the baby is fully developed healthy so we may induce your labour soon."
"So right after u induce me I go under treatment?"
"Yes ma'am which means no Brest feeding."
"Wait I can't Brest feed my baby."
"No the treatments prevent you from doing that."
"But the treatments will save her life right?"
"We hope so mr samules."
"Wait you hope so?"
"Yes mrs samules we can't guarantee that this method will work but for most patients it does."
" do you think this treatment is what's best for my situation?"
"Yes ma'am I do I've seen it work for many people in your situation."
"So it's worked before?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Ok." Nicki simply said placing her hands in her lap taking a deep breath.
"Baby you ok?"
"Yeah I'm fine."
"So what day do we have to be back here?"
"Next week Friday."
"Ok. But I have a week?"
"Yes."
"And if this does not work how long will I have?"
" if it doesn't work u will have up to a year sweetheart."
"A YEAR!! A FUCKING YEAR !"
"Nicki calm down."
"You want me to calm down but I have an expiration date on my life?"
" that's if it doesn't work nicki."
"How long will we know if it worked?"
"Well we can go about this one of two ways since you have lung cancer and its a small node on your lung we can go in and remove it after you have the baby."
"Meaning segury?"
"Yes it's the quickest way to remove the problem and prevent it from spreading to your entire lung."
"Ok so the other method?"
"The other method is chemotherapy."
"Which is why I won't be able to Brest feed?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Well what do you thing Safaree."
"I think you should go wi the first one I mean its more effective."
"I think so to."
"Ok so you guys want the segury?"
"Yes please."
Safaree grabbed a hold to nickis shaking and and placed it between his. He rubbed until she began to calm down placing a dot kiss on the back of her hand. Nicki grabbed her purse and stood from her chair she walked towards the door opening it headed for the car Safaree following suit.
"You ok?" He said getting into the car slamming the door.
"No."
"You wanna talk about it?"
"No. Just drive."
"When are you going to tell mom?"
"I'm not."
"Nicki."
"You are."
"What? She should hear it from you baby."
"Safaree how do u start a conversation like that with your mother? Hi mom weathers nice I have to have the baby next week and after that they cut me open and remove cancer from my lung. But don't worry if that doesn't work I have a year left to spend with my family."
"Oh. Well since u put it that way."
"But that's the thing I didn't put it that way the doctors did."
"Nicki."
"Safaree please I don't want to have this conversation with anyone at the moment you want everyone close to us to know so bad handle it."
"Ok."
A cold silence grew over the car for the last fifteen minutes of their ride home. Safaree pulled into the drive way. He opened his car door stepping out to open nickis when he was met by roman and Amy.
" sup Amy! Down ro man ya paws muddy."
"Sorry Safaree he likes puddles but I'm going to take him to the back and get him all washed."
"Amy it's cold out wash him in the basement."
"Oh ill be fine mr. Samules it's just a breeze."
"But I won't just use the tub in the basement."
"Ok dinner is made."
"Ok thanks."
"Your welcome. Hi mrs samules how's everything."
Nicki just gave her a cold stare and made her way in the house.
"Ok."
"Don't take it personal Amy she got bad news today."
"Not about the baby right."she said grabbing a hold to her chest trying to keep her balance as roman tried to go after nicki but was yanked back by the leash.
"No the baby will be here early actually but the baby is healthy we may need more of your help around the house though so I'm going to raise your pay and we will talk about it later."
"Ok mr samules but you sure nika will be ok?"
"Yes.." He said mumbling I hope shortly after.
Safaree made his way into the condo putting his keys on the key rack by the front door. He took his shoes off on the carpet off to the side and made his way into the kitchen. He was hoping to see nicki eating her dinner but no one was in the kitchen and he could see her curry chicken still wrapped on the counter. He took the wrapping off her plate and placed it in the microwave for a few minutes. He reached in the fridge and grabbed her a water and an apple juice. Shortly after the timer on the microwave went off. He placed everything on a tray making his way up the stairs. He could see that the door was closed so he sat the tray on the table at the end of the hall. The door was locked so he went back down the stairs to get his keys. Once back to the door he opened it leaving the keys swinging from the door.
" nicki sit up."
"I don't want that Safaree."
"My baby does though sit yo ass up onika I'm not playing with you."
Nicki pouted and sat up.
"I don't want apple juice I want orange juice." She said handing him the apple juice back.
"Ok anything else?"
"No."
"Ill have Amy bring the orange juice back up and nicki say sorry."
"What?"
"Just do it."
"Ughhhhh ok."
....
"Well ma I think I should call nickis mother now."
"Ok baby tell onika I'm praying for her and that baby and that things will be ok just give it to god and let him do the rest."
"Ok ma I will."
"Ok baby ill be in town next week Monday."
"Ok ill have Amy come get you from the air port if I'm still at work when you land."
"Ok love you baby."
"Love you too ma."
Safaree waited until his line was clear and searched for carols number he waited a while as he searched for the words.
"Fuck how do I tell her this shit." He said speaking to him self.
"Tell who what?" Amy said freeing a now clean roman from her grasp.
"Carol. And I have to tell her something important about nicki."
"Ok you scaring me now what am I not apart of the family now."
"No Amy I just don't know how to explain this to anyone."
"How about I be your test dummy?"
"Ok umm. Well the baby will be here next week because nicki has to go into treatment."
"Treatment why?" Amy said taking a seat next to Safaree on the couch.
"Because she has lung cancer."
"Lung cancer!"
"Shhh."
"Oh sorry but where did this come from?"
"The doctors said its normal for people to find out things when they are pregnant it flares them up."
"Ok so what treatment will she start after the baby is here?"
"First they will try and remove the node as they called it through surgery."
"Ok but when?"
"Friday after the baby is born."
"And if this doesn't work?"
"Chemotherapy."
"So this I why you need me here huh?"
" yes but my mother may be here and nickis too after I grow the balls to call and tell her."
"Ok what ever you guys need. You know nika is like a sister to me."
"Speaking of her she wants orange juice can u take it to her please?"
"Shure can."
"If she locked the door my keys are on the table in the hall."
"Ok."
"Thank you Amy."
"Your welcome Safaree." She said turning to walk away. " oh and Safaree it's no easy way to tell a mother her baby has lung cancer. But the more u put it off the worse the reaction."
"Thanks."
"No problem."
Safaree pressed the call button on his phone. The more the phone rang the more his heart raced.
"Hello? Hello? Safaree?"
"I'm sorry hi mama."
"Hi baby what's going on."
"I have to talk to you about something."
"Ok let me finish with CIA and you have my undivided attention."
"Ok go ahead."
"CIA finish that home work was the dishes and go to bed right now!" He could hear her scream in the background
"Ok baby let me get situated in this bed."
"Good she's sitting."
"What was that?"
"Nothing I was talking to Amy."
"Oh that chile still works for you guys?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Ok what's this news you have to tell me."
"Don't panic ok."
"Ok Safaree."
"We'll a few days ago we found out nicki had lung cancer."
"Lung cancer! Is she going to be ok."
"They don't know so the baby will be here next Friday so that they can start her treatments."
"Treatments this sounds serious."
"It is and nicki needs all the support she can get."
"So ill fly out first thing."
"You don't have to do that."
"Yes I do Safaree my baby needs me."
"But.."
"No buts first thing in the morning."
"Ok."
"So how's she doing with this news."
"She's down mad at the world."
"Sounds like onika."
"Yeah."
"How are you doing with this news."
"I guess you can say I'm handling it."
"And what's that suppose to mean?"
"I mean mama what type of man would I be if I broke down. It's not me having to go through this its her."
"That's where your wrong baby. In sickness and in health you said that didn't you.?"
"Yes but."
"No buts your going through this together you under stand me? She may need you more than she ever will in her life right now."
"Yes ma'am."
"So you be strong but in order for you to be strong you need someone to be strong for you too. do you hear me baby?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Now when does all of this happen?"
"Friday."
"Ok ill be out that way tomorrow son so see you then."
"Ok."
And with that the call ended. Safaree made his way to his study checking his books as he always did before he went to bed.
.........
Nickis room
Amy knocked on the door slowly turning the knob with nickis orange juice tucked under her arm.
"Come on Amy."
"You knew I was coming?"
"Yeah plus your the only one who knocks around here."
"Oh."
"Hey I'm sorry about.."
"No need if I was in your position I'd be mad at the world too."
"Aww but I.."
"Shhh."
"Here."
"Oh that thanks even though I don't want it."
"But Safaree said.... Never mind." She said setting the orange juice on the night stand.
Nicki motioned for her to take a seat on the bed.
"Wanna talk about it?"
"I guess not really much to say. But can I ask a quick favor of you?"
"Sure anything."
"Please take care of her." Nicki said rubbing her belly.
"Her?"
"Oh that's right it is your first time being back its a girl."
"Aww she's going to be beautiful."
"Thanks but please." Nicki said with pleading eyes tears rolling down her face.
"You look at me." Amy said lifting nickis head up with her index finger."nika your going to be ok baby."
"But what if I'm not?"
"What if the sky isn't blue tomorrow?"
"No Amy I'm serious." Nicki said through laughs.
"So am I you have to be optimistic with things like this nicki. Claim that in gods name you will get better if not for you for the sake of that baby."
"But they said.."
"But who are they nika? Some guy who studied about the human body in school. Gods power is greater than any man and that's what you have to believe baby."
"Listen to you who would have thought you call me the big sister."
"Well someone has to look at this thing in another form."
"I'm glad it's you."
"I'm here if you need me you know that right?"
"Yes and thank you." She said pulling her in for a hug.
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Lets take it back
Hey u guys just a short thing here I have every thing planned out for this story unlike the others where they are for fun.. Please be honest with comments on this story. Please comment on this story... And also check out a few of my favorite fan fics s/o to my weird mysterious onikafaree fan fic younspeechless.blogspot.com strangers in the night.. I'm sure u guys are familiar with @codepink_ stories well check out this one not an onika fare fic but its another of my faves lifeisabitchandshemeansbusiness.blogspot.com also if you haven't make your way to @itsmarthabitch story boundtoyouonikafaree.blogsopt.com check out @paralleltonone_ fics too fallenstarof.blogspot.com and last but not least even though I have one more but I won't mention it because I don't really know her but my last one is nisi fic onikafareelovedtraptwo.blogspot.com happy reading that last person ill check.. But happy reading
Safaree sat in the chair while the nurse propped nickis legs up. He waited with anticipation as she began her regular routine check up. Nicki and Safaree had been married two years and had finally decided to have a baby. Nicki was now seven months but because she was so small a early delivery was expected. She didn't want to know the sex of the baby but the night before her appointment Safaree talked her into it.
"Ok all done mrs samules."
"Ok but can you tell us what we are having?"
"Oh so now you want to know?"
"No I'm good with not knowing but daddy--" her speaking was interrupted with coughs. "I'm sorry daddy over there wants to know."
"Ok sure thing but when did you start coughing like that?"
"Oh that well I'm not sure it comes and goes. Why?"
"It doesn't sound good at all."
"She's going to be ok right?"
"I'm not sure mr samules I have to check I'm going to go get another doctor so we can get his opinion to. Oh and um by the way your having a beautiful baby girl."
"It's a girl Safaree!"
"I know nic I heard."
"Baby what's wrong?"
"Did you not just hear her say that cough is something more?"
"No I heard her say it doesn't sound good but its not like I can die from a cough."
"These days nicki you can die from a mosquito bite."
"Yeah true but I don't want to think about that Safaree I'm sure ill be fine."
"Mrs samules?"
"Yes ok I was told to come hear this cough."
"Well I can just cough on cue doc." She spoke as the cough followed.
"Your right Mary get her prepped for a full scan."
"Wait what's going on?"
"Nothing to be worried about sweetie we just want to make sure it's nothing bad."
"Mr samules I'm going to need you to step out of the room for a moment while we talk to your wife."
"Well he's my husband you can tell me while he's here."
"Well if your ok with it I just need both of you to stay calm. You more importantly mrs samules it's not good for the baby."
"Ok."
Safaree stood next to nicki taking her hand. She gently sqooze his hand looking up at the doctor with worry in her eyes.
"Mrs samules this cough sounds like a form a cancer and it sounds pretty bad. Are you sure you don't know how long you had it?"
"I've had it a while. It's gotten worse with the baby but I just thought I was catching a cold."
"I hope that's all it is. But we will run a few test so we are going to have to keep you for a while. Once the test is done it will take us a few days to go over the results so we will send u home and pray for the best ok."
"Yes that's fine."
"Ok ill be back once we have everything set up."
"Hey doc wait up." Safaree called as the doctor left the room.
"Yes mr samules."
"If it is cancer she won't. You know like die or anything?"
"Cancer does not always mean death. I pray for your sake and that babies sake that I'm wrong but by the sounds of it this does not look good."
"Ok."
Safaree entered the room sitting back in his chair he closed his eyes so the tears wouldn't escape and put his face in his hands. Not only was he scared to lose the love of his life but if he could possibly loose nicki he could possibly loose his baby girl too and he just was not ready for that at all.
........
Safaree sat his keys on the table and watched nicki drag her feet to the back of the condo he knew she was going to look out at the water so he just let her be. He sat avi on the couch draping his leg over the arm looking up at the sky at the stars. He loved the make of the condo because it fit their personalities well. He scratched his head searching the stars for answers he knew they couldn't give. His eyes grew heavy and a deep sleep came over him.
"Why? Why me god? Why now? If you take me from them allow him to love again. My baby needs a mother someone that will treat her as I would. You don't hear me. I don't know why I try." Nicki said hanging her head turning away from the door.
Her phone rang she paused for a moment debating on answering it. She wiped her tears and made her way back down the hall to the living room. She sat on the couch next to safarees head and slightly lifted it so he was now laying in her lap. he felt her touch awake now but not moving. They sat in darkness Safaree turned to face her belly and placed kisses on it while she rubbed the back of his neck.
"Mom just called."
"Did u answer it?"
"Should I have?"
"Yes."
"Well ill call her back."
"You ok?"
"Yeah you?"
"Yeah. Faree."
"Yes munchkin?"
"You think I will make it?"
"Your the fighter I always thought you were right."
"Yes but.."
"No buts nicki I'm here we are here together we will beat this you just have to know its possible."
"But Safaree .."
"No buts nicki and that's then end of that. Call your mother I'm going to go up and run us bath water."
"Us?"
"Yes us. Is it now a crime to bathe with my wife?"
"No." She said as she bit down on her lip.
"Ok then finish up with your mother and then come up. Don't be long or the water will get cold." He yelled from the top of the stairs.
"Hello?"
"Hi ma."
"Hi baby how's my other baby doing?"
"She's fine."
"She onika? What happened to not wanting to know?"
"Things changed."
"Oh things huh?"
"Yes."
"Bad or good. Onika baby what's wrong."
"Well nothing bad Safaree just wanted to know the sex of the baby. And why something gotta be wrong ma?"
"I dont know I just think its more to it than what your telling me. I'm your mother you may be miles away but I can hear it in your voice when something's wrong."
"Well maybe your wrong this time ma."
"Maybe. How's everything with you and Safaree?"
"Good."
"Is he excited about the girl."
"More than me I guess."
"You guess."
"Yeah ma I gotta go Safaree wants me to come up to bed."
"I'm sure he doesn't have a problem with you speaking to me."
"Never said that ma but I love you and I will talk to you some other day that's not today."nicki said hanging up the phone.
"Well love you too onika." Her mother said looking down at the phone I. Her hand.
Nicki walked down the dark hall as her puppy ran past her into the bed room. Roman jumped on the bed and made his self comfortable laying by Safaree.
"Get down ro."
"No he's fine Safaree."
"Well ok when he gets use to it don't say I didn't tell him to get down."
" I know You let him sleep up here when I'm not around Safaree."
"Damn she caught us ro." He said grabbing the dogs face talking to him.
"You ready?" She said removing the last of her clothes.
"Been ready just waiting on you."Safaree said grabbing a hold to nickis hand leading her to the bathroom into the tub.
"Safaree hurry this is hot." She said watching him strip down to nothing."
"Ok ok ok! I'm done. Ill sit first then you but be careful nicki."
Nicki sat down adjusting her self in the water. She laid her head back on to safarees chest letting the pink water calm her. The ends of hair becoming soaked by the water. They sat in silence Safaree rubbing her belly and nicki with her eyes closed.
"Safaree!" Nicki said hitting him.
"What I do."
"Tell your little friend down boy and i don't mean the dog either."
"I can't help it nicki that I have a beautiful wife."
"A pregnant whale."
"A beautiful pregnant whale."
"Word I'm a whale now."
"No. Don't make it something it's not."
"Ok."
"Ready to wash?"
"Yes please or ill start to prune."she said grabbing a hold to her towel.
Safaree washed nicki and when she was done helped her out. He hopped out him self turning on the shower.
Nicki took off her robe and placed it on the closet door. She grabbed one of safarees tees that now fit snug around her baby bump and a pair of his sweats. She dried her hair with her dry towel as much as possible and put it in a bun. She found a movie and turned to her side roman laying his body over her feet.
"Ro down!" Safaree said drying his chest off with the towel.
" no Safaree we are comfortable ro stay."
the dog shot them a confused face and hopped of the bed heading out the room.
" why the change in heart about the dong on the bed?"
"Because he's in here all the time even when he's not he gets a bath every day."
"I've been telling u this for the longest and now your going with it?"
" yup."
"I guess."
"When does Amy come back?"
"When would u like her to?"
"I don't know I kinda like that its just me and you."
"Well when ever you want her to come back I told her she would be on call."
" ok I love u Safaree."
"I love you too."
They said both getting comfortable in bed ready for slumber to take over their bodies.
.........
Day two
The rays from the sun hit nickis face as she pressed the button to the dark shades. They came down and not a trace of light could be seen. Nicki could feel the empty place beside her but she didn't care. She just reached for her body pillow cuddling with it and returning back to her sleep. She could hear roman enter the room and although she couldn't feel him hop on the bed she could hear him hop up and walk in circles until he found a comfortable place.
Safaree sat down in his study looking over the books for his company he didn't have work for the day but most time when he didn't he still ended up working. He was the CEO of a big corporation for technology. Both him and nicki did well in what they did nicki being a psychologist for teens and young adults. Her being pregnant they got to spend more time together. Safaree got up from his books and went to check on nicki usually shed be walking down the hall looking for him trying to convince him why he should let her have something she shouldn't be eating. Why was today so different.
"Nicki."
"Whaaaat."
"Are u hungry?"
"Do I look hungry?"
"You want me to answer that honestly?"
"Shut the hell up Safaree."
"Ok let me rephrase u need to eat something."
"But I'm not hungry." She said as her tummy growled.
"I think different."
"Safaree."
"You want a sandwich or do u want me to cook."
"Sandwich is fine."
"Nicki I don't mind u being in bed all day but u will eat."
"Yeah yeah yeah." She said going back to sleep tossing a pillow at the door as he closed it back.
.....
Day three
"Hello is mrs samules in."
"No she's not but this is her husband who am I speaking with."
"Oh well good this is Mary from the hospital. I'm calling on behalf of her test from the other day we need her in here as soon as possible!"
"Is everything ok?"
"No we have to talk to her about the stress of carrying this baby the full nine months like she's planned."
"She has it doesn't she."
"Yes sir and its bad."
"Ok give me an hour or so and we will be in."
"Ok thank you mr samules the quicker we catch this thing the sooner she can get back to you and the baby."
Safaree hung up the phone and with three swift motions to put on his shoes grab his Huey's and his fitted he was out the door on his way to nicki.
Safaree pulled up to tts home and parked his car all types of crazy in the driveway. He raced up the few steps to the door not bothering to close the door to his car. He banged on the door impatiently waiting for some one to open it. Once he saw Tt on her way to the door he stood back as she exchanged glares with him while she unlocked the screen.
"Safaree what's wrong?"
"Where is nicki?"
"She's sleeping she had pains in her chest."
"Fuck!"
"No Safaree wait please tell me what's wrong! Wait why are you crying? What's wrong with nika?"
"She has cancer and they say its bad."
"Wow bro wait just chill if you go wake her while your like this you will scare the dog shit outta her here have some water and fix your face she will be ok."
"What if she's not."
"Don't do that bro you know like I know she will be ok."
"But cancer."
"No buts Safaree u have to believe with your heart that she will be fine."
Safaree wiped at his face and continued to tts room. He could see nicki fast asleep on the bed he moved her hair out of her face. He gently kissed her lips causing her to stir. Tt leaned on the door post watching as nicki woke from her sleep.
"Oh shit I thought u was Tt I was about to punch u in the throat."
"What how in the hell would you think I was Tt nicki?"
"Because when we were younger Tt would do dumb shit like that."
"Y'all was weird."
"Yeah so you wasn't so normal your self."
"Yeah but come on."
"Did Tt call you cuz really Safaree I'm fine now I feel much better after that nap."
"No we have to go up to the hospital baby."
"The hospital why? Is it julani? Lambchop? Oh no Safaree please tell me it's not my mom."
Safaree sat holding nickis hands at the edge of the bed on his knees. His smile drifted and his heart raced. Tears flowed down his face as he tried to shake them off.
"No baby it's you."
"Safaree what do you mean I'm fine I told u I just needed rest. What are you talking about. You can't be talking about what I think your talking about because they said three days."
"Nicki it's been three days."
"But how? No see cuz Sunday we went for my check up Monday I slept all day Tuesday I... my god... today is Wednesday isn't it."
"Yes baby."
"Is it bad Safaree?"
"Yes and we need you to go now."
"So the pain in my chest?"
"Yes."
Nicki sat in silence rubbing her belly for a while. She looked at Tt with tears in her eyes. Safaree stood to his feet grabbing a hold of her hands so that she could stand to her feet. They made their way to the car as he waited for nicki to get settled in her seat. He closed her door and walked to the other side of the car. She stared out the window watching as the tears rolled down her face in the reflection.
"Safaree?"
"Yes."
"I want her name to be shana it means beautiful."
"Ok nicki but I'm sure you will be able to name her that your self the doctor said cancer does not automatically mean death."
"Yeah well I just want you to know what her name should be."
"Ok baby." Safaree said turning his attention back to the road.
Safaree sat in the chair while the nurse propped nickis legs up. He waited with anticipation as she began her regular routine check up. Nicki and Safaree had been married two years and had finally decided to have a baby. Nicki was now seven months but because she was so small a early delivery was expected. She didn't want to know the sex of the baby but the night before her appointment Safaree talked her into it.
"Ok all done mrs samules."
"Ok but can you tell us what we are having?"
"Oh so now you want to know?"
"No I'm good with not knowing but daddy--" her speaking was interrupted with coughs. "I'm sorry daddy over there wants to know."
"Ok sure thing but when did you start coughing like that?"
"Oh that well I'm not sure it comes and goes. Why?"
"It doesn't sound good at all."
"She's going to be ok right?"
"I'm not sure mr samules I have to check I'm going to go get another doctor so we can get his opinion to. Oh and um by the way your having a beautiful baby girl."
"It's a girl Safaree!"
"I know nic I heard."
"Baby what's wrong?"
"Did you not just hear her say that cough is something more?"
"No I heard her say it doesn't sound good but its not like I can die from a cough."
"These days nicki you can die from a mosquito bite."
"Yeah true but I don't want to think about that Safaree I'm sure ill be fine."
"Mrs samules?"
"Yes ok I was told to come hear this cough."
"Well I can just cough on cue doc." She spoke as the cough followed.
"Your right Mary get her prepped for a full scan."
"Wait what's going on?"
"Nothing to be worried about sweetie we just want to make sure it's nothing bad."
"Mr samules I'm going to need you to step out of the room for a moment while we talk to your wife."
"Well he's my husband you can tell me while he's here."
"Well if your ok with it I just need both of you to stay calm. You more importantly mrs samules it's not good for the baby."
"Ok."
Safaree stood next to nicki taking her hand. She gently sqooze his hand looking up at the doctor with worry in her eyes.
"Mrs samules this cough sounds like a form a cancer and it sounds pretty bad. Are you sure you don't know how long you had it?"
"I've had it a while. It's gotten worse with the baby but I just thought I was catching a cold."
"I hope that's all it is. But we will run a few test so we are going to have to keep you for a while. Once the test is done it will take us a few days to go over the results so we will send u home and pray for the best ok."
"Yes that's fine."
"Ok ill be back once we have everything set up."
"Hey doc wait up." Safaree called as the doctor left the room.
"Yes mr samules."
"If it is cancer she won't. You know like die or anything?"
"Cancer does not always mean death. I pray for your sake and that babies sake that I'm wrong but by the sounds of it this does not look good."
"Ok."
Safaree entered the room sitting back in his chair he closed his eyes so the tears wouldn't escape and put his face in his hands. Not only was he scared to lose the love of his life but if he could possibly loose nicki he could possibly loose his baby girl too and he just was not ready for that at all.
........
Safaree sat his keys on the table and watched nicki drag her feet to the back of the condo he knew she was going to look out at the water so he just let her be. He sat avi on the couch draping his leg over the arm looking up at the sky at the stars. He loved the make of the condo because it fit their personalities well. He scratched his head searching the stars for answers he knew they couldn't give. His eyes grew heavy and a deep sleep came over him.
"Why? Why me god? Why now? If you take me from them allow him to love again. My baby needs a mother someone that will treat her as I would. You don't hear me. I don't know why I try." Nicki said hanging her head turning away from the door.
Her phone rang she paused for a moment debating on answering it. She wiped her tears and made her way back down the hall to the living room. She sat on the couch next to safarees head and slightly lifted it so he was now laying in her lap. he felt her touch awake now but not moving. They sat in darkness Safaree turned to face her belly and placed kisses on it while she rubbed the back of his neck.
"Mom just called."
"Did u answer it?"
"Should I have?"
"Yes."
"Well ill call her back."
"You ok?"
"Yeah you?"
"Yeah. Faree."
"Yes munchkin?"
"You think I will make it?"
"Your the fighter I always thought you were right."
"Yes but.."
"No buts nicki I'm here we are here together we will beat this you just have to know its possible."
"But Safaree .."
"No buts nicki and that's then end of that. Call your mother I'm going to go up and run us bath water."
"Us?"
"Yes us. Is it now a crime to bathe with my wife?"
"No." She said as she bit down on her lip.
"Ok then finish up with your mother and then come up. Don't be long or the water will get cold." He yelled from the top of the stairs.
"Hello?"
"Hi ma."
"Hi baby how's my other baby doing?"
"She's fine."
"She onika? What happened to not wanting to know?"
"Things changed."
"Oh things huh?"
"Yes."
"Bad or good. Onika baby what's wrong."
"Well nothing bad Safaree just wanted to know the sex of the baby. And why something gotta be wrong ma?"
"I dont know I just think its more to it than what your telling me. I'm your mother you may be miles away but I can hear it in your voice when something's wrong."
"Well maybe your wrong this time ma."
"Maybe. How's everything with you and Safaree?"
"Good."
"Is he excited about the girl."
"More than me I guess."
"You guess."
"Yeah ma I gotta go Safaree wants me to come up to bed."
"I'm sure he doesn't have a problem with you speaking to me."
"Never said that ma but I love you and I will talk to you some other day that's not today."nicki said hanging up the phone.
"Well love you too onika." Her mother said looking down at the phone I. Her hand.
Nicki walked down the dark hall as her puppy ran past her into the bed room. Roman jumped on the bed and made his self comfortable laying by Safaree.
"Get down ro."
"No he's fine Safaree."
"Well ok when he gets use to it don't say I didn't tell him to get down."
" I know You let him sleep up here when I'm not around Safaree."
"Damn she caught us ro." He said grabbing the dogs face talking to him.
"You ready?" She said removing the last of her clothes.
"Been ready just waiting on you."Safaree said grabbing a hold to nickis hand leading her to the bathroom into the tub.
"Safaree hurry this is hot." She said watching him strip down to nothing."
"Ok ok ok! I'm done. Ill sit first then you but be careful nicki."
Nicki sat down adjusting her self in the water. She laid her head back on to safarees chest letting the pink water calm her. The ends of hair becoming soaked by the water. They sat in silence Safaree rubbing her belly and nicki with her eyes closed.
"Safaree!" Nicki said hitting him.
"What I do."
"Tell your little friend down boy and i don't mean the dog either."
"I can't help it nicki that I have a beautiful wife."
"A pregnant whale."
"A beautiful pregnant whale."
"Word I'm a whale now."
"No. Don't make it something it's not."
"Ok."
"Ready to wash?"
"Yes please or ill start to prune."she said grabbing a hold to her towel.
Safaree washed nicki and when she was done helped her out. He hopped out him self turning on the shower.
Nicki took off her robe and placed it on the closet door. She grabbed one of safarees tees that now fit snug around her baby bump and a pair of his sweats. She dried her hair with her dry towel as much as possible and put it in a bun. She found a movie and turned to her side roman laying his body over her feet.
"Ro down!" Safaree said drying his chest off with the towel.
" no Safaree we are comfortable ro stay."
the dog shot them a confused face and hopped of the bed heading out the room.
" why the change in heart about the dong on the bed?"
"Because he's in here all the time even when he's not he gets a bath every day."
"I've been telling u this for the longest and now your going with it?"
" yup."
"I guess."
"When does Amy come back?"
"When would u like her to?"
"I don't know I kinda like that its just me and you."
"Well when ever you want her to come back I told her she would be on call."
" ok I love u Safaree."
"I love you too."
They said both getting comfortable in bed ready for slumber to take over their bodies.
.........
Day two
The rays from the sun hit nickis face as she pressed the button to the dark shades. They came down and not a trace of light could be seen. Nicki could feel the empty place beside her but she didn't care. She just reached for her body pillow cuddling with it and returning back to her sleep. She could hear roman enter the room and although she couldn't feel him hop on the bed she could hear him hop up and walk in circles until he found a comfortable place.
Safaree sat down in his study looking over the books for his company he didn't have work for the day but most time when he didn't he still ended up working. He was the CEO of a big corporation for technology. Both him and nicki did well in what they did nicki being a psychologist for teens and young adults. Her being pregnant they got to spend more time together. Safaree got up from his books and went to check on nicki usually shed be walking down the hall looking for him trying to convince him why he should let her have something she shouldn't be eating. Why was today so different.
"Nicki."
"Whaaaat."
"Are u hungry?"
"Do I look hungry?"
"You want me to answer that honestly?"
"Shut the hell up Safaree."
"Ok let me rephrase u need to eat something."
"But I'm not hungry." She said as her tummy growled.
"I think different."
"Safaree."
"You want a sandwich or do u want me to cook."
"Sandwich is fine."
"Nicki I don't mind u being in bed all day but u will eat."
"Yeah yeah yeah." She said going back to sleep tossing a pillow at the door as he closed it back.
.....
Day three
"Hello is mrs samules in."
"No she's not but this is her husband who am I speaking with."
"Oh well good this is Mary from the hospital. I'm calling on behalf of her test from the other day we need her in here as soon as possible!"
"Is everything ok?"
"No we have to talk to her about the stress of carrying this baby the full nine months like she's planned."
"She has it doesn't she."
"Yes sir and its bad."
"Ok give me an hour or so and we will be in."
"Ok thank you mr samules the quicker we catch this thing the sooner she can get back to you and the baby."
Safaree hung up the phone and with three swift motions to put on his shoes grab his Huey's and his fitted he was out the door on his way to nicki.
Safaree pulled up to tts home and parked his car all types of crazy in the driveway. He raced up the few steps to the door not bothering to close the door to his car. He banged on the door impatiently waiting for some one to open it. Once he saw Tt on her way to the door he stood back as she exchanged glares with him while she unlocked the screen.
"Safaree what's wrong?"
"Where is nicki?"
"She's sleeping she had pains in her chest."
"Fuck!"
"No Safaree wait please tell me what's wrong! Wait why are you crying? What's wrong with nika?"
"She has cancer and they say its bad."
"Wow bro wait just chill if you go wake her while your like this you will scare the dog shit outta her here have some water and fix your face she will be ok."
"What if she's not."
"Don't do that bro you know like I know she will be ok."
"But cancer."
"No buts Safaree u have to believe with your heart that she will be fine."
Safaree wiped at his face and continued to tts room. He could see nicki fast asleep on the bed he moved her hair out of her face. He gently kissed her lips causing her to stir. Tt leaned on the door post watching as nicki woke from her sleep.
"Oh shit I thought u was Tt I was about to punch u in the throat."
"What how in the hell would you think I was Tt nicki?"
"Because when we were younger Tt would do dumb shit like that."
"Y'all was weird."
"Yeah so you wasn't so normal your self."
"Yeah but come on."
"Did Tt call you cuz really Safaree I'm fine now I feel much better after that nap."
"No we have to go up to the hospital baby."
"The hospital why? Is it julani? Lambchop? Oh no Safaree please tell me it's not my mom."
Safaree sat holding nickis hands at the edge of the bed on his knees. His smile drifted and his heart raced. Tears flowed down his face as he tried to shake them off.
"No baby it's you."
"Safaree what do you mean I'm fine I told u I just needed rest. What are you talking about. You can't be talking about what I think your talking about because they said three days."
"Nicki it's been three days."
"But how? No see cuz Sunday we went for my check up Monday I slept all day Tuesday I... my god... today is Wednesday isn't it."
"Yes baby."
"Is it bad Safaree?"
"Yes and we need you to go now."
"So the pain in my chest?"
"Yes."
Nicki sat in silence rubbing her belly for a while. She looked at Tt with tears in her eyes. Safaree stood to his feet grabbing a hold of her hands so that she could stand to her feet. They made their way to the car as he waited for nicki to get settled in her seat. He closed her door and walked to the other side of the car. She stared out the window watching as the tears rolled down her face in the reflection.
"Safaree?"
"Yes."
"I want her name to be shana it means beautiful."
"Ok nicki but I'm sure you will be able to name her that your self the doctor said cancer does not automatically mean death."
"Yeah well I just want you to know what her name should be."
"Ok baby." Safaree said turning his attention back to the road.
Monday, December 3, 2012
The original one shot
One year ago...
Safaree sat in he chair while the nurse propped nickis legs up. He waited with anticipation as she began her regular routine check up. Nicki and Safaree had been married two years and had finally decided to have a baby. Nicki was now seven months but because she was so small a early delivery was expected. She didn't want to know the sex of the baby but the night befor her appointment Safaree talked her into it.
"Ok all done mrs samules."
"Ok but can you tell us what we are having?"
"Oh so now you want to know?"
"No I'm good with not knowing but daddy--" her speaking was interrupted with coughs. "I'm sorry daddy over there wants to know."
"Ok sure thing but when did u start coughing like that?"
"Oh that well I'm not sure it comes and goes. Why?"
"It doesn't sound good at all."
"She's going to be ok right?"
"I'm not sure mr samules I have to check I'm going to go get another doctor so we can get his opinion to. Oh and um by the way your having a beautiful baby girl."
"It's a girl Safaree!"
"I know nic I heard."
"Baby what's wrong?"
"Did you not just hear her say that cough is something more?"
"No I heard her say it doesn't sound good but its not like I can die from a cough."
"These days nicki you can die from a mosquito bite."
"Yeah true but I don't want to think about that Safaree I'm sure ill be fine."
"Mrs samules?"
"Yes ok I was told to come hear this cough."
"Well I can just cough on cue doc." She spoke as the cough followed.
"Your right Mary get her prepped for a full scan."
"Wait what's going on?"
"Mr samules I'm going to need u to step out of the room for a moment while we talk to your wife."
"Well he's my husband you can tell me while he's here."
"Well if your ok with it I just need both of you to stay calm. You more importantly mrs samules it's not good for the baby."
"Ok."
Safaree stood next to nicki taking her hand. She gently sqooze his hand looking up at the doctor with worry in her eyes.
"Mrs samules this cough sounds like a form a cancer and it sounds pretty bad. Are u sure you don't know how long you had it?"
"I've had it a while. It's gotten worse with the baby but I just thought I was catching a cold."
"I hope that's all it is. But we will run a few test so we are going to have to keep you for a while. Once the test is done it will take us a few days to go over the results so we will send u home and pray for the best ok."
"Yes that's fine."
"Ok ill be back once we have everything set up."
"Hey doc wait up." Safaree called as the doctor left the room.
"Yes mr samules."
"If it is cancer she won't. You know like die or anything?"
"Cancer does not always mean death. I pray for your sake and that babies sake that I'm wrong but by the sounds of it this does not look good."
"Ok."
Safaree entered the room sitting back in his chair he closed his eyes so the tears wouldn't escape and put his face in his hands. Not only was he scared to lose the love of his life but if he could possibly loose nicki he could possibly loose his baby girl too and he just was not ready for that at all.
.........
Three days later.
"Hello is mrs samules in."
"No she's not but this is her husband who am I speaking with."
"Oh well good this is Mary from the hospital. I'm calling on behalf of her test from the other day we need her in here as soon as possible!"
"Is everything ok?"
"No we have to talk to her about the stress of carrying this baby the full nine months like she's planned."
"She has it doesn't she."
"Yes sir and its bad."
"Ok give me an hour or so and we will be in."
"Ok thank you mr samules the quicker we catch this thing the sooner she can get back to you and the baby."
Safaree hung up the phone and with three swift motions to put on his shoes grab his Huey's and his fitted he was out the door on his way to nicki.
Safaree pulled up to tts home and parked his car all types of crazy in the driveway. He raced up the few steps to the door not bothering to close the door to his car. He banged on the door impatiently waiting for some one to open it. Once he saw Tt on her way to the door he stood back as she exchanged glares with him while she unlocked the screen.
"Safaree what's wrong?"
"Where is nicki?"
"She's sleeping she had pains in her chest."
"Fuck!"
"No Safaree wait please tell me what's wrong! Wait why are you crying? What's wrong with nika?"
"She has cancer and they say its bad."
"Wow bro wait just chill if you go wake her while your like this you will scare the dog shit outta her here have some water and fix your face she will be ok."
"What if she's not."
"Don't do that bro you know like I know she will be ok."
"But cancer."
"No buts Safaree u have to believe with your heart that she will be fine."
Safaree wiped at his face and continued to tts room. He could see nicki fast asleep on the bed he moved her hair out of her face. He gently kissed her lips causing her to stir. Tt leaned on the door post watching as nicki woke from her sleep.
"Oh shit I thought u was Tt I was about to punch u in the throat."
"What how in the hell would you think I was Tt nicki?"
"Because when we were younger Tt would do dumb shit like that."
"Y'all was weird."
"Yeah so you wasn't so normal your self."
"Yeah but come on."
"Did Tt call you cuz really Safaree I'm fine now I feel much better after that nap."
"No we have to go up to the hospital baby."
"The hospital why? Is it julani? Lambchop? Oh no Safaree please tell me it's not my mom."
Safaree sat holding nickis hands at the edge of the bed on his knees. His smile drifted and his heart raced. Tears flowed down his face as he tried to shake them off.
"No baby it's you."
"Safaree what do you mean I'm fine I told u I just needed rest. What are you talking about. You can't be talking about what I think your talking about because they said three days."
"Nicki it's been three days."
"But how? No see cuz Sunday we went for my check up Monday I slept all day Tuesday I... my god... today is Wednesday isn't it."
"Yes baby."
"Is it bad Safaree?"
"Yes and we need you to go now."
"So the pain in my chest?"
"Yes."
Nicki sat in silence rubbing her belly for a while. She looked at Tt with tears in her eyes. Safaree stood to his feet grabbing a hold of her hands so that she could stand to her feet. They made their way to the car as he waited for nicki to get settled in her seat. He closed her door and walked to the other side of the car. She stared out the window watching as the tears rolled down her face in the reflection.
"Safaree?"
"Yes."
"I want her name to be shana it means beautiful."
"Ok nicki but I'm sure you will be able to name her that your self the doctor said cancer does not automatically mean death."
"Yeah well I just want you to know what her name should be."
"Ok baby." Safaree said turning his attention back to the road.
........
Today..
Safaree checked his tie in the mirror. His eyes were blood shot and he could hear shana crying from her nursery. He placed his shoes on his feet and closed the door to his bed room as he made his way to his little girl.
"What's wrong with her ma?" Safaree said stepping into the room seeing ms carol rock the baby in the rocking chair."
"She's just a little fussy is all Safaree normal for a toddler she will be ok."
"Maybe she knows."
"Knows what?"
"That her mommy--." Safaree broke down on the floor he had enough of trying to be strong and for some reason ms carol was the only person to ever see him this way.
"Baby it's ok onika is in a better place. No pain I'm sure she's happy."
"It's ok for you to cry just don't let this take over your life baby. You have shana now you have to be a father to that little girl. But the biggest challenge is for you to try and be mommy too. Me and robbert will always be here if you need us and Tt candi Lauren and all your friends to."
"Why her. Why did he have to take her from me. She was my everything!"
"I'm thinking of it like this. He had to take our onika to give us something more beautiful." Ms carol said handing Safaree a now sleeping shana.
"Thank u mom."
"No problem now get your self together. The car will be here soon."
Ms carol turned the corner as a sea of tears strolled down her face. Robbert came up to her hugging her and rubbing her back.
"J-julani?"
"Yes ma."
"Please go make sure Safaree is ok."
"Ok ma."
Robbert and carol sat on the sofa carol with a box of tissues and robbert looking out the window as he held her and rocked a bit. Candi walked over and sat next to ms carol as tears rolled down he face too. She laid her head and carols lap as carol stroked at her hair.
A cold silence grew over the room as Safaree and shana entered the room. Safaree placed the small blanket over shanas head as he continued for the door.
"Ok I'm ready." He said as he reached for the knob.
Everyone stood and followed him out to the car. He entered first and everyone else followed suit. Every now and then Safaree glanced down at a sleeping shana tears began to fall on her blanket as he realized how much his baby girl looked like her mother. He remembered how nicki tried her best to do as much as possible with shana once she found out she only had a years time to spend with her. They had a early first birthday party for the child to make sure nicki could at least see her baby turn one. Surprisingly the baby's first word was ma ma. But it killed him to know her first steps nicki would never be able to see.
Shana began to smile in her sleep and her dimples appeared. Safaree reached to kiss her dimples and smiled through his tears at the face that followed. His mother rubbed his arm and began to speak.
"You know they say when babies smile in their sleep they dream about angles maybe its onika she's dreaming about."
"Maybe ma." Safaree said with a smile.
.......
Two days later...
"Ma ma ma ma ma ma." Safaree could hear shanas cries from her room as his eyes creeped open looking around his room.
"Ma ma ma ma!" Her cries got louder as he walked closer to the door.
"Morning to you too big head." He said making noises against her cheeks causing her to burst out in laughter as her dimples made their appearance on her face.
"Have I told you your name means beautiful? It's the perfect name for you since your a splitting image of her right shana? I think so. Mommy says you look like me but those dimples and that hair is all her!"
"Ma ma ma ma!"
"Yeah ma ma ma ma!" Safaree said placing a kiss on the child's cheek. As he sat on the floor giving her a bottle.
Dragon tales played from the tv as shana now sat alone in the middle of the big couch she clapped her hands to the music from the tv as Safaree watched her closely from the kitchen. He hung up the phone with his mother after assuring her that everything was fine. He thought of what him and his baby girl could do for the day.
"Hey fare!"
"What's up Tt."
"Are you and shana coming to my babies birthday party."
"Oh that is this week isn't it."
"Not this week Safaree today at party magic y'all comin'?"
"Yeah I gotta stop and get the little man a gift then ill be on my way."
"Ok see you then."
Safaree scooped shana up from the couch and placed her in her crib turning her tv on the same thing.
"Da da will be right back baby girl I have to shower."
"Ma ma ma ma." Shana said pointing behind Safaree.
"No da da."
"Ma ma ma ma." Shana said again as she shook her head and pointed behind Safaree again.
"Yeah yeah yeah only thing u will know how to say for a while daddy gets it and truth be told I'm not mad about it." He said kissing her fore head leaving the room.
Safaree started his shower placing the baby monitor on the counter he stared at the mirror for a long time searching it for answers. His hands lay flat on the counter as his head fell causing him to look at the floor as tears rolled from his eyes. He glanced in the mirror once again and could see nickis small frame behind him. She laid her head on his back moving her hands that were around his waist up to his chest. Their bodies moved in unison as in that moment they became one. Safaree just stood knowing this was only his memory of nicki taking over his body. But it felt so real like she was really here with him. He turned around but the image he was seeing was still there nicki now laying her head on his chest. He placed his chin on her head holding her out of habit. He took in her smell closing his eyes. Tears fell from his face as nicki pulled away wiping at his cheeks.
"I love you Safaree."
"I love you more than you will ever know onika." He said opening his eyes seeing an empty bathroom.
He stepped out of his clothes and into the shower drowning his cry with the sounds of the water hitting his chest. This would be harder then he thought and more of a challenge then he was led to believe.
Ok u guys :) it's now 7:00 and its my time to stop writing this one shot... I sent the picture of shana around when I told u that I posted. If I don't have your twitter name that could be why you didn't get it. Please leave your comments in my dms or at the bottom of this page not on the tl. Thank you guys and sorry I'm not posting on rbms this week!
Safaree sat in he chair while the nurse propped nickis legs up. He waited with anticipation as she began her regular routine check up. Nicki and Safaree had been married two years and had finally decided to have a baby. Nicki was now seven months but because she was so small a early delivery was expected. She didn't want to know the sex of the baby but the night befor her appointment Safaree talked her into it.
"Ok all done mrs samules."
"Ok but can you tell us what we are having?"
"Oh so now you want to know?"
"No I'm good with not knowing but daddy--" her speaking was interrupted with coughs. "I'm sorry daddy over there wants to know."
"Ok sure thing but when did u start coughing like that?"
"Oh that well I'm not sure it comes and goes. Why?"
"It doesn't sound good at all."
"She's going to be ok right?"
"I'm not sure mr samules I have to check I'm going to go get another doctor so we can get his opinion to. Oh and um by the way your having a beautiful baby girl."
"It's a girl Safaree!"
"I know nic I heard."
"Baby what's wrong?"
"Did you not just hear her say that cough is something more?"
"No I heard her say it doesn't sound good but its not like I can die from a cough."
"These days nicki you can die from a mosquito bite."
"Yeah true but I don't want to think about that Safaree I'm sure ill be fine."
"Mrs samules?"
"Yes ok I was told to come hear this cough."
"Well I can just cough on cue doc." She spoke as the cough followed.
"Your right Mary get her prepped for a full scan."
"Wait what's going on?"
"Mr samules I'm going to need u to step out of the room for a moment while we talk to your wife."
"Well he's my husband you can tell me while he's here."
"Well if your ok with it I just need both of you to stay calm. You more importantly mrs samules it's not good for the baby."
"Ok."
Safaree stood next to nicki taking her hand. She gently sqooze his hand looking up at the doctor with worry in her eyes.
"Mrs samules this cough sounds like a form a cancer and it sounds pretty bad. Are u sure you don't know how long you had it?"
"I've had it a while. It's gotten worse with the baby but I just thought I was catching a cold."
"I hope that's all it is. But we will run a few test so we are going to have to keep you for a while. Once the test is done it will take us a few days to go over the results so we will send u home and pray for the best ok."
"Yes that's fine."
"Ok ill be back once we have everything set up."
"Hey doc wait up." Safaree called as the doctor left the room.
"Yes mr samules."
"If it is cancer she won't. You know like die or anything?"
"Cancer does not always mean death. I pray for your sake and that babies sake that I'm wrong but by the sounds of it this does not look good."
"Ok."
Safaree entered the room sitting back in his chair he closed his eyes so the tears wouldn't escape and put his face in his hands. Not only was he scared to lose the love of his life but if he could possibly loose nicki he could possibly loose his baby girl too and he just was not ready for that at all.
.........
Three days later.
"Hello is mrs samules in."
"No she's not but this is her husband who am I speaking with."
"Oh well good this is Mary from the hospital. I'm calling on behalf of her test from the other day we need her in here as soon as possible!"
"Is everything ok?"
"No we have to talk to her about the stress of carrying this baby the full nine months like she's planned."
"She has it doesn't she."
"Yes sir and its bad."
"Ok give me an hour or so and we will be in."
"Ok thank you mr samules the quicker we catch this thing the sooner she can get back to you and the baby."
Safaree hung up the phone and with three swift motions to put on his shoes grab his Huey's and his fitted he was out the door on his way to nicki.
Safaree pulled up to tts home and parked his car all types of crazy in the driveway. He raced up the few steps to the door not bothering to close the door to his car. He banged on the door impatiently waiting for some one to open it. Once he saw Tt on her way to the door he stood back as she exchanged glares with him while she unlocked the screen.
"Safaree what's wrong?"
"Where is nicki?"
"She's sleeping she had pains in her chest."
"Fuck!"
"No Safaree wait please tell me what's wrong! Wait why are you crying? What's wrong with nika?"
"She has cancer and they say its bad."
"Wow bro wait just chill if you go wake her while your like this you will scare the dog shit outta her here have some water and fix your face she will be ok."
"What if she's not."
"Don't do that bro you know like I know she will be ok."
"But cancer."
"No buts Safaree u have to believe with your heart that she will be fine."
Safaree wiped at his face and continued to tts room. He could see nicki fast asleep on the bed he moved her hair out of her face. He gently kissed her lips causing her to stir. Tt leaned on the door post watching as nicki woke from her sleep.
"Oh shit I thought u was Tt I was about to punch u in the throat."
"What how in the hell would you think I was Tt nicki?"
"Because when we were younger Tt would do dumb shit like that."
"Y'all was weird."
"Yeah so you wasn't so normal your self."
"Yeah but come on."
"Did Tt call you cuz really Safaree I'm fine now I feel much better after that nap."
"No we have to go up to the hospital baby."
"The hospital why? Is it julani? Lambchop? Oh no Safaree please tell me it's not my mom."
Safaree sat holding nickis hands at the edge of the bed on his knees. His smile drifted and his heart raced. Tears flowed down his face as he tried to shake them off.
"No baby it's you."
"Safaree what do you mean I'm fine I told u I just needed rest. What are you talking about. You can't be talking about what I think your talking about because they said three days."
"Nicki it's been three days."
"But how? No see cuz Sunday we went for my check up Monday I slept all day Tuesday I... my god... today is Wednesday isn't it."
"Yes baby."
"Is it bad Safaree?"
"Yes and we need you to go now."
"So the pain in my chest?"
"Yes."
Nicki sat in silence rubbing her belly for a while. She looked at Tt with tears in her eyes. Safaree stood to his feet grabbing a hold of her hands so that she could stand to her feet. They made their way to the car as he waited for nicki to get settled in her seat. He closed her door and walked to the other side of the car. She stared out the window watching as the tears rolled down her face in the reflection.
"Safaree?"
"Yes."
"I want her name to be shana it means beautiful."
"Ok nicki but I'm sure you will be able to name her that your self the doctor said cancer does not automatically mean death."
"Yeah well I just want you to know what her name should be."
"Ok baby." Safaree said turning his attention back to the road.
........
Today..
Safaree checked his tie in the mirror. His eyes were blood shot and he could hear shana crying from her nursery. He placed his shoes on his feet and closed the door to his bed room as he made his way to his little girl.
"What's wrong with her ma?" Safaree said stepping into the room seeing ms carol rock the baby in the rocking chair."
"She's just a little fussy is all Safaree normal for a toddler she will be ok."
"Maybe she knows."
"Knows what?"
"That her mommy--." Safaree broke down on the floor he had enough of trying to be strong and for some reason ms carol was the only person to ever see him this way.
"Baby it's ok onika is in a better place. No pain I'm sure she's happy."
"It's ok for you to cry just don't let this take over your life baby. You have shana now you have to be a father to that little girl. But the biggest challenge is for you to try and be mommy too. Me and robbert will always be here if you need us and Tt candi Lauren and all your friends to."
"Why her. Why did he have to take her from me. She was my everything!"
"I'm thinking of it like this. He had to take our onika to give us something more beautiful." Ms carol said handing Safaree a now sleeping shana.
"Thank u mom."
"No problem now get your self together. The car will be here soon."
Ms carol turned the corner as a sea of tears strolled down her face. Robbert came up to her hugging her and rubbing her back.
"J-julani?"
"Yes ma."
"Please go make sure Safaree is ok."
"Ok ma."
Robbert and carol sat on the sofa carol with a box of tissues and robbert looking out the window as he held her and rocked a bit. Candi walked over and sat next to ms carol as tears rolled down he face too. She laid her head and carols lap as carol stroked at her hair.
A cold silence grew over the room as Safaree and shana entered the room. Safaree placed the small blanket over shanas head as he continued for the door.
"Ok I'm ready." He said as he reached for the knob.
Everyone stood and followed him out to the car. He entered first and everyone else followed suit. Every now and then Safaree glanced down at a sleeping shana tears began to fall on her blanket as he realized how much his baby girl looked like her mother. He remembered how nicki tried her best to do as much as possible with shana once she found out she only had a years time to spend with her. They had a early first birthday party for the child to make sure nicki could at least see her baby turn one. Surprisingly the baby's first word was ma ma. But it killed him to know her first steps nicki would never be able to see.
Shana began to smile in her sleep and her dimples appeared. Safaree reached to kiss her dimples and smiled through his tears at the face that followed. His mother rubbed his arm and began to speak.
"You know they say when babies smile in their sleep they dream about angles maybe its onika she's dreaming about."
"Maybe ma." Safaree said with a smile.
.......
Two days later...
"Ma ma ma ma ma ma." Safaree could hear shanas cries from her room as his eyes creeped open looking around his room.
"Ma ma ma ma!" Her cries got louder as he walked closer to the door.
"Morning to you too big head." He said making noises against her cheeks causing her to burst out in laughter as her dimples made their appearance on her face.
"Have I told you your name means beautiful? It's the perfect name for you since your a splitting image of her right shana? I think so. Mommy says you look like me but those dimples and that hair is all her!"
"Ma ma ma ma!"
"Yeah ma ma ma ma!" Safaree said placing a kiss on the child's cheek. As he sat on the floor giving her a bottle.
Dragon tales played from the tv as shana now sat alone in the middle of the big couch she clapped her hands to the music from the tv as Safaree watched her closely from the kitchen. He hung up the phone with his mother after assuring her that everything was fine. He thought of what him and his baby girl could do for the day.
"Hey fare!"
"What's up Tt."
"Are you and shana coming to my babies birthday party."
"Oh that is this week isn't it."
"Not this week Safaree today at party magic y'all comin'?"
"Yeah I gotta stop and get the little man a gift then ill be on my way."
"Ok see you then."
Safaree scooped shana up from the couch and placed her in her crib turning her tv on the same thing.
"Da da will be right back baby girl I have to shower."
"Ma ma ma ma." Shana said pointing behind Safaree.
"No da da."
"Ma ma ma ma." Shana said again as she shook her head and pointed behind Safaree again.
"Yeah yeah yeah only thing u will know how to say for a while daddy gets it and truth be told I'm not mad about it." He said kissing her fore head leaving the room.
Safaree started his shower placing the baby monitor on the counter he stared at the mirror for a long time searching it for answers. His hands lay flat on the counter as his head fell causing him to look at the floor as tears rolled from his eyes. He glanced in the mirror once again and could see nickis small frame behind him. She laid her head on his back moving her hands that were around his waist up to his chest. Their bodies moved in unison as in that moment they became one. Safaree just stood knowing this was only his memory of nicki taking over his body. But it felt so real like she was really here with him. He turned around but the image he was seeing was still there nicki now laying her head on his chest. He placed his chin on her head holding her out of habit. He took in her smell closing his eyes. Tears fell from his face as nicki pulled away wiping at his cheeks.
"I love you Safaree."
"I love you more than you will ever know onika." He said opening his eyes seeing an empty bathroom.
He stepped out of his clothes and into the shower drowning his cry with the sounds of the water hitting his chest. This would be harder then he thought and more of a challenge then he was led to believe.
Ok u guys :) it's now 7:00 and its my time to stop writing this one shot... I sent the picture of shana around when I told u that I posted. If I don't have your twitter name that could be why you didn't get it. Please leave your comments in my dms or at the bottom of this page not on the tl. Thank you guys and sorry I'm not posting on rbms this week!
Welcome to over her dead body
Ok u guys my first post won't be today I just took cuz I'm sick and I'm getting sleepy again soooo. But this week I will be posting on this story share the link if u would like through dms only please. For those of u who don't know this story will be an onikafaree story nothing else because in my world nothing else exists... I know some of u are crybabies if that's u and u hold a grudge over fake stories this story is not for u so fuck off because I promise if u go off on me ill go off on u right back one monkey don't stop no show. This story is about Safaree onika and a Liddle girl named shana Safaree tries to cope with the death of his wife and also raise a child. It was a one shot but u guys asked for it to be a story.. I have a whole plot for this story and I know it's amazing in its own... Yes I will finish rbms this is just until I think of something to write for that story.. I hope u guys enjoy this story.. Pleas comment and share the link after the first post if u like it and thank you all for being some of the most amazing readers I've ever had bro! Ok what we are going to do is I'm going to start this whole thing over... You will see everything I skipped in the beginning.. Her last year when she dies and so on and so fourth.. I'm going to be very detailed. This is a warning. U all complain about all onikafaree fic being the same but this one ill tell u will not be predictable and in anyway at least ill try... My plan for this story is beyond what I ever thought it would be and more than I let few of u believe. U can't tell your secrets to everyone...Anyhoe I'm excited about this story and I'm sure once it's started u guys will be too.. Thanks again...
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