The original one shot

One year ago...

Safaree sat in he chair while the nurse propped nickis legs up. He waited with anticipation as she began her regular routine check up. Nicki and Safaree had been married two years and had finally decided to have a baby. Nicki was now seven months but because she was so small a early delivery was expected. She didn't want to know the sex of the baby but the night befor her appointment Safaree talked her into it.

"Ok all done mrs samules."

"Ok but can you tell us what we are having?"

"Oh so now you want to know?"

"No I'm good with not knowing but daddy--" her speaking was interrupted with coughs. "I'm sorry daddy over there wants to know."

"Ok sure thing but when did u start coughing like that?"

"Oh that well I'm not sure it comes and goes. Why?"

"It doesn't sound good at all."

"She's going to be ok right?"

"I'm not sure mr samules I have to check I'm going to go get another doctor so we can get his opinion to. Oh and um by the way your having a beautiful baby girl."

"It's a girl Safaree!"

"I know nic I heard."

"Baby what's wrong?"

"Did you not just hear her say that cough is something more?"

"No I heard her say it doesn't sound good but its not like I can die from a cough."

"These days nicki you can die from a mosquito bite."

"Yeah true but I don't want to think about that Safaree I'm sure ill be fine."

"Mrs samules?"

"Yes ok I was told to come hear this cough."

"Well I can just cough on cue doc." She spoke as the cough followed.

"Your right Mary get her prepped for a full scan."

"Wait what's going on?"

"Mr samules I'm going to need u to step out of the room for a moment while we talk to your wife."

"Well he's my husband you can tell me while he's here."

"Well if your ok with it I just need both of you to stay calm. You more importantly mrs samules it's not good for the baby."

"Ok."

Safaree stood next to nicki taking her hand. She gently sqooze his hand looking up at the doctor with worry in her eyes.

"Mrs samules this cough sounds like a form a cancer and it sounds pretty bad. Are u sure you don't know how long you had it?"

"I've had it a while. It's gotten worse with the baby but I just thought I was catching a cold."

"I hope that's all it is. But we will run a few test so we are going to have to keep you for a while. Once the test is done it will take us a few days to go over the results so we will send u home and pray for the best ok."

"Yes that's fine."

"Ok ill be back once we have everything set up."

"Hey doc wait up." Safaree called as the doctor left the room.

"Yes mr samules."

"If it is cancer she won't. You know like die or anything?"

"Cancer does not always mean death. I pray for your sake and that babies sake that I'm wrong but by the sounds of it this does not look good."

"Ok."

Safaree entered the room sitting back in his chair he closed his eyes so the tears wouldn't escape and put his face in his hands. Not only was he scared to lose the love of his life but if he could possibly loose nicki he could possibly loose his baby girl too and he just was not ready for that at all.

.........

Three days later.

"Hello is mrs samules in."

"No she's not but this is her husband who am I speaking with."

"Oh well good this is Mary from the hospital. I'm calling on behalf of her test from the other day we need her in here as soon as possible!"

"Is everything ok?"

"No we have to talk to her about the stress of carrying this baby the full nine months like she's planned."

"She has it doesn't she."

"Yes sir and its bad."

"Ok give me an hour or so and we will be in."

"Ok thank you mr samules the quicker we catch this thing the sooner she can get back to you and the baby."

Safaree hung up the phone and with three swift motions to put on his shoes grab his Huey's and his fitted he was out the door on his way to nicki.

Safaree pulled up to tts home and parked his car all types of crazy in the driveway. He raced up the few steps to the door not bothering to close the door to his car. He banged on the door impatiently waiting for some one to open it. Once he saw Tt on her way to the door he stood back as she exchanged glares with him while she unlocked the screen.

"Safaree what's wrong?"

"Where is nicki?"

"She's sleeping she had pains in her chest."

"Fuck!"

"No Safaree wait please tell me what's wrong! Wait why are you crying? What's wrong with nika?"

"She has cancer and they say its bad."

"Wow bro wait just chill if you go wake her while your like this you will scare the dog shit outta her here have some water and fix your face she will be ok."

"What if she's not."

"Don't do that bro you know like I know she will be ok."

"But cancer."

"No buts Safaree u have to believe with your heart that she will be fine."

Safaree wiped at his face and continued to tts room. He could see nicki fast asleep on the bed he moved her hair out of her face. He gently kissed her lips causing her to stir. Tt leaned on the door post watching as nicki woke from her sleep.

"Oh shit I thought u was Tt I was about to punch u in the throat."

"What how in the hell would you think I was Tt nicki?"

"Because when we were younger Tt would do dumb shit like that."

"Y'all was weird."

"Yeah so you wasn't so normal your self."

"Yeah but come on."

"Did Tt call you cuz really Safaree I'm fine now I feel much better after that nap."

"No we have to go up to the hospital baby."

"The hospital why? Is it julani? Lambchop? Oh no Safaree please tell me it's not my mom."

Safaree sat holding nickis hands at the edge of the bed on his knees. His smile drifted and his heart raced. Tears flowed down his face as he tried to shake them off.

"No baby it's you."

"Safaree what do you mean I'm fine I told u I just needed rest. What are you talking about. You can't be talking about what I think your talking about because they said three days."

"Nicki it's been three days."

"But how? No see cuz Sunday we went for my check up Monday I slept all day Tuesday I... my god... today is Wednesday isn't it."

"Yes baby."

"Is it bad Safaree?"

"Yes and we need you to go now."

"So the pain in my chest?"

"Yes."

Nicki sat in silence rubbing her belly for a while. She looked at Tt with tears in her eyes. Safaree stood to his feet grabbing a hold of her hands so that she could stand to her feet. They made their way to the car as he waited for nicki to get settled in her seat. He closed her door and walked to the other side of the car. She stared out the window watching as the tears rolled down her face in the reflection.

"Safaree?"

"Yes."

"I want her name to be shana it means beautiful."

"Ok nicki but I'm sure you will be able to name her that your self the doctor said cancer does not automatically mean death."

"Yeah well I just want you to know what her name should be."

"Ok baby." Safaree said turning his attention back to the road.

........

Today..

Safaree checked his tie in the mirror. His eyes were blood shot and he could hear shana crying from her nursery. He placed his shoes on his feet and closed the door to his bed room as he made his way to his little girl.

"What's wrong with her ma?" Safaree said stepping into the room seeing ms carol rock the baby in the rocking chair."

"She's just a little fussy is all Safaree normal for a toddler she will be ok."

"Maybe she knows."

"Knows what?"

"That her mommy--." Safaree broke down on the floor he had enough of trying to be strong and for some reason ms carol was the only person to ever see him this way.

"Baby it's ok onika is in a better place. No pain I'm sure she's happy."

"It's ok for you to cry just don't let this take over your life baby. You have shana now you have to be a father to that little girl. But the biggest challenge is for you to try and be mommy too. Me and robbert will always be here if you need us and Tt candi Lauren and all your friends to."

"Why her. Why did he have to take her from me. She was my everything!"

"I'm thinking of it like this. He had to take our onika to give us something more beautiful." Ms carol said handing Safaree a now sleeping shana.

"Thank u mom."

"No problem now get your self together. The car will be here soon."

Ms carol turned the corner as a sea of tears strolled down her face. Robbert came up to her hugging her and rubbing her back.

"J-julani?"

"Yes ma."

"Please go make sure Safaree is ok."

"Ok ma."

Robbert and carol sat on the sofa carol with a box of tissues and robbert looking out the window as he held her and rocked a bit. Candi walked over and sat next to ms carol as tears rolled down he face too. She laid her head and carols lap as carol stroked at her hair.

A cold silence grew over the room as Safaree and shana entered the room. Safaree placed the small blanket over shanas head as he continued for the door.

"Ok I'm ready." He said as he reached for the knob.

Everyone stood and followed him out to the car. He entered first and everyone else followed suit. Every now and then Safaree glanced down at a sleeping shana tears began to fall on her blanket as he realized how much his baby girl looked like her mother. He remembered how nicki tried her best to do as much as possible with shana once she found out she only had a years time to spend with her. They had a early first birthday party for the child to make sure nicki could at least see her baby turn one. Surprisingly the baby's first word was ma ma. But it killed him to know her first steps nicki would never be able to see.

Shana began to smile in her sleep and her dimples appeared. Safaree reached to kiss her dimples and smiled through his tears at the face that followed. His mother rubbed his arm and began to speak.

"You know they say when babies smile in their sleep they dream about angles maybe its onika she's dreaming about."

"Maybe ma." Safaree said with a smile.

.......

Two days later...

"Ma ma ma ma ma ma." Safaree could hear shanas cries from her room as his eyes creeped open looking around his room.

"Ma ma ma ma!" Her cries got louder as he walked closer to the door.

"Morning to you too big head." He said making noises against her cheeks causing her to burst out in laughter as her dimples made their appearance on her face.

"Have I told you your name means beautiful? It's the perfect name for you since your a splitting image of her right shana? I think so. Mommy says you look like me but those dimples and that hair is all her!"

"Ma ma ma ma!"

"Yeah ma ma ma ma!" Safaree said placing a kiss on the child's cheek. As he sat on the floor giving her a bottle.

Dragon tales played from the tv as shana now sat alone in the middle of the big couch she clapped her hands to the music from the tv as Safaree watched her closely from the kitchen. He hung up the phone with his mother after assuring her that everything was fine. He thought of what him and his baby girl could do for the day.

"Hey fare!"

"What's up Tt."

"Are you and shana coming to my babies birthday party."

"Oh that is this week isn't it."

"Not this week Safaree today at party magic y'all comin'?"

"Yeah I gotta stop and get the little man a gift then ill be on my way."

"Ok see you then."

Safaree scooped shana up from the couch and placed her in her crib turning her tv on the same thing.

"Da da will be right back baby girl I have to shower."

"Ma ma ma ma." Shana said pointing behind Safaree.

"No da da."

"Ma ma ma ma." Shana said again as she shook her head and pointed behind Safaree again.

"Yeah yeah yeah only thing u will know how to say for a while daddy gets it and truth be told I'm not mad about it." He said kissing her fore head leaving the room.

Safaree started his shower placing the baby monitor on the counter he stared at the mirror for a long time searching it for answers. His hands lay flat on the counter as his head fell causing him to look at the floor as tears rolled from his eyes. He glanced in the mirror once again and could see nickis small frame behind him. She laid her head on his back moving her hands that were around his waist up to his chest. Their bodies moved in unison as in that moment they became one. Safaree just stood knowing this was only his memory of nicki taking over his body. But it felt so real like she was really here with him. He turned around but the image he was seeing was still there nicki now laying her head on his chest. He placed his chin on her head holding her out of habit. He took in her smell closing his eyes. Tears fell from his face as nicki pulled away wiping at his cheeks.

"I love you Safaree."

"I love you more than you will ever know onika." He said opening his eyes seeing an empty bathroom.

He stepped out of his clothes and into the shower drowning his cry with the sounds of the water hitting his chest. This would be harder then he thought and more of a challenge then he was led to believe.

Ok u guys :) it's now 7:00 and its my time to stop writing this one shot... I sent the picture of shana around when I told u that I posted. If I don't have your twitter name that could be why you didn't get it. Please leave your comments in my dms or at the bottom of this page not on the tl. Thank you guys and sorry I'm not posting on rbms this week!